Nine hundred dollars to social security? Well...
...I'm trying to think of a joke about a lockbox.
Because it's so timely.
- Damn if I'm paying these damn taxes. - What you gonna do?
- Declare Sealab a sovereign nation? - Declare Sealab--?
Hold that thought.
Okay.
Nine, three, four, Texas.
- Greetings, captain. - Reckon you know why I'm here.
Sovereign nation...
- Where did you get that? - In there.
Well, what did you decide?
- Hazelnut. - No, about the nation thing.
Dang, where's my head at today?
Nine, three, four, Nevada.
"No. We can't. It's forbidden."
Come on. Hump her. Make a "bearaff."
Or a "giraffabear."
Hey, freak job. You still a notary?
Hesh's commission expires in 2026.
So now that Sealabia is sovereign., ll want to buy me some weapons...
-...of mass destruction from England. - Duly noted.
Huddle up, Tasty.
- Stiff upper lip. - Cheeky, balmy bastard.
- Jolly good show, rum lot, eh? - Quids, scum and tuppence.
- Oh, hang on. - We've done that.
- Do I just come in here now, yeah? - Okay.
- Yeah. - Okay.
- Okay, fine. - So, what do we do?
- King and country, Fresh. - King and country, Tasty.
- Right, then. We'll do it. - Outstan--
- First you have to give us some new teeth. - New teeth?
Some of you may be wondering why I called you here.
Well, it wasn't to show you my diorama of George C. Scott as Patton...
...from the legendary film with the same name.
Damn. Now, where was I?
Oh, yeah. I declared Sealab a sovereign nation.
- He's crazy. - What?
Behold the new flag of Sealabia.
- What? - He's for real?
- You can't do that. - Now, right there's where you're wrong.
Because it's all done and notarized.
Actually, you still need to sign here and here and here.
Initial here, sign here, initial and date, sign...
...initial it. Let me see that. No, sign that...
...and sign here and here.
- Well, are we sovereign? - No, but I am.
- What? - Welcome to Heshopolis, bitches.
- Heshopolis is off the hook, baby. - The hell, you say.
These folks are vassals of the emperor of Sealabia.
- They're Heshopolites. - Sealabians.
- Heshopolites. - Sealabians.
All right, all right, all right. Shut up. We'll do batsies for it.
- Put your hand here. - Wait. Let me hold it.
- Sounds good to-- - Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God. He killed Hesh. - Nope. Hesh is still barely alive.
- Now, then, as you-- - Power vacuum.
I hereby declare myself ruler of Sparkopolis.
Sparkopolites, follow me to freedom!
Long live the chair.
Damn. Well, we'll see how they like it when Sealabia invades their ass.
- Well, you'll do it without us. - Who the hell are you?
- I'm Brad, ruler of Pod Sixia. - Brad?
You
- You never called me. - I know.
And as of this moment, we hereby secede from Sealabia.
Long live Brad. Long live Pod Sixia.
Well, get ready to choke on my WMDs.
- You're awful quiet about all this. - Yeah.
That's because all I can think about is you having sex with Brad.
God. Me too.
That's it. I'm seceding from you, and I'm definitely seceding...
...from your stupid country ass. Anybody needs me...
...I'll be in...
-...Quinnland. - Don't you walk out that door.
- Yeah. That's what your mama told me. - Nice comeback.
Quinn, don't you dare walk out that door.
That could be anybody.
Don't make me, Aggie Shanks, mother of Tornado...
...beg you to come back in here and give her some more of that sweet, forbidden...
...jungle fever-y love of yours. Baby, I love you.
- Baby, I love you. - And scene.
Well, obviously this means war.
And so to recap, coffee machine, Sealabian sovereignty...
...a crack about someone's mammy, then multilateral declaration of war.
All right. Debbie, you're in command till I get back.
I gotta rally the troops, then go get our WMDs from our allies.
- What allies? - Look, I'm eating corn, Fresh.
I'm eating corn too, Tasty.
And the corn is so fresh and tasty.
Blimey. I just got that.
Sparkopolites, when the Sealabians invade, and the lead starts flying...
...just remember our martyred founder:
- Hesh. - I'm actually still barely--
ll got it. Mine.
Nice save, Jesus.
God, he's good.
- Oh, and I pooped in our foxhole. - What?
But I did put my blanket over it.
Well, why the hell didn't you use the toilet?
It seceded from me.
Meanwhile, in Quinnland...
...something is about to happen.
Yep.
You're kidding. This is everybody who's joining Quinnland?
No, you're not.
We gotta get some more guys, or we're gonna be overrun.
- What's up, man? - Too late. We're being invaded.
No, no, no. Relax.
- We wanna join you. - No way. You slept with my girlfriend.
If I hadn't, I wouldn't have found these.
Hey. Where did you find my beads?
Right where you left them, buddy.
- You know what I'm talking about. - I misjudged you, Brad.
- I'm sorry. - Hey, don't apologize to me.
Apologize to the beads.
Hush, fatty. Almost forgot.
We brought you a little secession present. Dennis?
- Where the hell did you get that? - From our allies.
So I'm glad that stupid toilet seceded because I'm pretty sure it was a Plumbot.
- Would you shut up and let me do this? - First I thought it was a Changeatron, okay?
But then I was like, "Nope. Plumbot."
- Want to know how I knew? - No. I want to start a nuclear war!
Okay, Quinnsixia's warhead is ready.
Well, you ain't the only ones who can bribe people with corn.
- You got that right. - Looks like a Mexican standoff, boys.
Leon.
- I swear to God, I'll strike first. - Not if I strike first, first.
Then grab your socks, because I'm launching.
- So am 1. - Screw those idiots. We're launching.
- Awesome. - Go ahead. Put your launch key in.
- Go, go, go. - I can't. It's on my dresser.
- Well, go get it. - No can do. Dresser seceded from me.
- What? - And my dresser is a Changeatron.
See, the Changeatrons fled their home planet...
...to escape the evil Plumbots...
...and they came to Earth disguised as quality furniture...
...where they lived for generations in peace.
But the Plumbers followed them here...
...and so the persecution began anew.
And we let them into our homes, Sparks...
...and let those evil Plumbots into our--
Don't be afraid to choke up on it.
Okay, Sealabians. Get ready for a nuclear holocaust...
...which will end all life on the entire planet of Earth.
Wait, wait, wait. Wait.
Did Brad call?
For the glory of Quinnsixia!
Hush, fatty.
- Are you dead? - No.
- Are you? - Oh, yeah. Totally.
Damn it. Them perfidious limeys sold us duds.
Boy, they better not sing a damn song about it.
Dig these choppers
These choppers can't be beat
Corn on the cob is one of our Favorite things to eat
Dig these choppers
These choppers can't be beat
Corn on the cob is one of our Favorite things to eat
That's absolutely terrible, Tasty.
- Man, this damn show. - Dude, it just keeps on getting lamer.
Random-ass, confusing bullsh--
No. Bad dresser.
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